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Sunlight and birdsong. I try to feel something. Anything. There’s no rage left, no anger. But there is nothing to take its place either. I try to hold that thought but I can’t. I know I need you to know that, but helpless, I know it’s unlikely I’ll recall it later. Still staring at the trees, I feel I ought to be responding to the beauty around me. I can see it’s a pretty place, a lovely afternoon. I try again to concentrate. I hear the birds, a light breeze rustling the manicured landscape. I can hear the unusual sounds of children playing in the visitor’s garden. I feel next to nothing in response. I ought to feel so much more. Christopher. I know I should. That’s your fault. I know that too. You stare at me pained, hopeful, and wary. What are you waiting for? This cocktail of me-suppressing drugs is no recipe for love. I can barely feel me, let alone you. I feel resentment stirring. Blessed resentment! That’s something, that’s mine. August They say I’m doing better. I’m off. The new bride had received guidance from her older sister and knew that she would have to take the initiative, but gently and tactfully. She showed him great affection as they looked out over the ocean from the balcony high up the hotel. She encouraged him to touch her and they kissed. Taking him back inside, she went into the bathroom and returned wearing a traditional belly dancer costume.Starting some music on her phone she danced for him and he was enthralled. When she departed from the traditional dance by removing her garments piece by piece she could see that he was completely in her power. Part way through the dance she asked him to remove his clothing as well.When they were both completely disrobed, she led him to the bed and began gently touching his body, the first male one she had ever had such complete access to. Likewise, she encouraged him to explore hers. She could feel the tingling and wetness between her legs and his interest was quite obvious, standing long against.
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